Time for me to get out of my own way!

I am creative so much so that at times I lose interest in one thing and pick up another. I do still want to do the restaurant and part of me is just waiting the other is wondering what I should do, I need $50,000 to start it. I presented my first living foods class in 4 years and I had a blast. 

Ideas I want to do:

1. I want to present inspiring demos with the intention to inspire people, children to get more and more fresh uncooked fruits, green and veggies in their lives.

2. Write children's books (I have 2 out of 3 done, waiting on pictures from young artists). 

3. Write a living foods book, simple, quick, fun recipes along with tips. 

4. Own a fun live food cafe with dancing, music, etc. 

5. Have a fun live food/green living show on the TV

6. Travel around the world inspiring others to eat more live fresh foods. 

7. Teach children (young adults) about thework.com so they may help themselves solve problems.

My friend did a tarot card reading on me Sat. night. The reading was the same as usual, I am not in the reading: my children and spouse are and my world is them and not with me. We did it 2 times and both times came up almost the same cards. We named it "stale mate" since I am waiting "tick tock". What you may ask am I waiting for, my children to grow up, my husband to go into business for himself. Yes, I get an idea in my head and I stop and say "I am a mother for now and when they grow up I will do xyz"! 

Next my friend pulled out these wonderful beautiful cards and laid them out on the table, I picked one "the creator". WOW it was my card it was a great one. One of the most powerful cards in the deck. It is exactly how I see myself, amazing powerful creator, world inspiring being! And it added "I need to get out of my own way!" YES I could not agree more. 

As I was heading home and everyday since I am making a decision and putting it down for the first time.

It is my turn to live my life. Living my life is living my integrity and showing my children how to be true to themselves. I will replace Blake's income and he will be the stay at home dad. Danyell and Marc are out of the house Bree is in school and busy all the time and Blake is the fun dad (I wish my dad was like him), Mitch and Carter want their dad more and more. Breast feeding is done and Mitch asks to be with his dad more and more. I think this is natural for boys who have a cool dad like Blake. Not that I am not cool I am just social and I love to get out and share me with others and be with others. I know this and now is the time. 

To be honest with myself at this moment I do feel a bit scared, new territory after 20 years of constant raising and having of the children. I think having children is safe for me my know how because it is most of what I have been doing since 16 years old. I am having to step out onto the ledge and jump. I know once I do I will feel like a chick out of its shell, ready to go peeking around. 

I remember leaving my parents home at 14 yrs. I felt less fear then. I know I have felt restless for almost a year now. I know my inner being is asking to be more of me and less in the business of my children who I have so longed lived through. I love them and they came through me for their experience and I came for mine they are apart of my experiences not all of them. I have attached myself to their worlds and become co-dependant on them and their world. I am loving and appreciating this moment right now, I feel sick and excited all at the same time. 

How will I start:

Today I set up my new business blog www.fruitygreenfamily.com and applied to be an affiliate for Vita-Mix on my site. Called Whole Foods to do live food demos. Called friend to do a live food demo at her home and record it to send to food networks.

Thursday I will finish my third children's book. 

Next Tuesday I will start my raw food book and complete by end of Nov. 2008

I feel better about myself and less fear just writing about it and I will do thework.com to keep myself in motion. 

Thanks for your reading of my rantings!

What's Up

Here is a quick update::

All kids are great:

Danyell: Married in July to Cris and Jake G-baby is now 7 1/2 months old crawling, and now the fun begins. Ya Me I get to play with Jakey and Danyell to be mom!

Marc: still gone, I know he is going from friend to friend in North Las Vegas, I miss the person behind the drugs and I know he is figuring it out!

Bree: is raising money to go to Washington DC in Dec. with Montessori, getting some experience in young adult relationships at school and I love and miss her being home all the time. Montessori is saying they are going to continue with high school, that is good since she is not public school or other private school material. I think when the courts cant force her to go to school anymore she will NOT! I know she likes her friends at school a lot and I know she loves her freedom more. 

Mitch: video gaming, TV and friends as much as possible. I will be filming him being a little raw food chef this month. Part of our family goal to be finacially independant.

Carter: video games, TV, Movies, and friends. He is experiencing what its like to interact with other little men and at times it has been painful, mostly he is a happy, peaceful man.

Blake: IRS and Audit, need I say more. I keep inspiring him to stay in his happy space. Major changes at work, Fedex Freight and he may be moving on come Jan. after 25 yrs.

Myself: WOW I am feeling more at peace and happy daily. Doing www.thework.com, basically 4 questions and turnaround about your thoughts it is the best way I have ever found to change your thoughts, change your reality!

Writing 3 childrens book (2 done), adult book: creative ways to get your kids to eat more fruits and greens book, Raw kids dvd with Mitch, I have all my business plan done and I am ready for $50,000 to show up and happen. And/or the local raw food restaurant, Go Raw, asked me to be apart of their expansion and buy into their business (we will see). Big realization for me, I am allowing myself to live in my own business (not so much in my children's business). I am having the best time!

I will creating a new blog for the books and other business I have in mind (raw ice cream). 

Lovez and Peace

D

Busy Busy Busy

I AM

I came out from love to love! Love limitless, allowing, love of endless promises and the ability to achieve everything and do anything. I am spirit, always have been spirit, will always be spirit. I am all that is good, possible and inspiring. I know everything, everyone, all is right. I believe I can have all. I am apart of all and I am whole, complete and know all is beautiful, wonderful and perfect. YES, Possibilities are forever, all is done and ready. I am present, now is always the time. We are one, creating, moving together in sync with everything, anything, ALL together. 

Look into your eyes, my eyes, see all, Glowing. Listen, hear the music of your soul, our soul, Dance. Feel the energy within, Connect to you to me to all. Taste of life, savor your flavor, Satisfaction. Smell the scent of your bliss, our BlissFULness, follow Bliss! 

E(in)NJOY together-LOVE- all is 

L

O

V

E !!

Mitch's New Do

Monday Aug. 25, 2008

Mitch came to me the other day and said "I want to cut my hair!" I was shocked, to say the least. Just months ago he said he never wanted to cut his hair "it keeps me shaded in the summer and warm in the winter." So I of course asked why and he replied "at night when I past by the mirror I scare myself because I look like the dead girl from the ring." Now just for clarification he has not seen the ring but he has seen the previews on TV of the ring and that was enough for him. 

Now if only he had wanted his hair cut a month ago before he decided to do the dread lock do it would have been much easier! 

After a half hour of dad brushing his hair in the tub we decided

the except the top 4 inches, the bottom 14 inches where untangled and good enough to braid and send to Locks of Love. I cut the braid and we put it in a zip lock and sent it off to Locks of Love.

I cried, I have been resisting change lately, and when I looked at him with no more long locks I could see my babies face a face I had not really seen in years. The hair seemed to cover more than just his back and sometimes face but a little of his light. He shed away 8 years of hair growth and yet I felt lately Mitch has been shed lots of anger and fits too. Change is a part of each second and thanks to these constant beings in my life I eventually relax into the love and joy of their growth and mine. 

Mitch said he felt weird and was not sure if he wanted to see any of his friends without a hat on. By Wednesday at Life Learners, I dont think he even thought a second about his hair. For him time with his hair ended in seconds and he was moving on! For mom shedding a few tears from sadness, then joy was healing for me. He just does what he feels he needs and moves on. I appreciate him reminding me what it is to be in your source and go do stream with the flow!

What's up with the fun fam

I am the eternal Goddess
All races are my children
All genders are my children
All creatures are my children
All time is my domain
My body is the earth
Reverence me and mine

Is this a greatness?

Update to my (our) life.

Blake: working, riding motorcycles and once in a while we see a glimse of him.

Danyell, Jake, and Cris: Danyell and Cris decided to make their union official and we married a few weeks ago. Jake is doing marvelous growing up so big, life learning, rolling, grabbing, using his voice (my only wish is that I could see him more). I am happy Danyell is going to be managing the cafe so Jake can stay in with his mommy! I am both sad and happy to be a g-ma (dee dee) sad I only get moments with this beauty and happy I am enjoying the older children I have and have tucked away those nursing baby years in my heart forever. I love this fun family!

Marc: gone, even though I do not know where he is I believe all is perfect. He is finding his path his life. Marc as showed me how children come through you yet they are not yours they are themselves. I love him and he knows he is loved and I trust that all is well with him!

Breeana: being forced (by our **** court system/ex husband) to go to school she has not taken it very well, and towards me she is short and wants little to do with me. As much as I believe in a victimless universe I still lean into the energy of my mother bear wanting to "protect" my cubs. Perhaps she feels let down by me as her mother not being able to keep her out of school and I will just keep on loving as unschooling her as much as I can. I now feel that she is strong and wise and knows what will work for her. She has constrast the unschooling life she so loved for 2 1/2 years and now Montessori (great school as far as schools go). She says as soon as she can she is going back to unschooling forever and so are her future children. She entered "The Red Tent" and the little girl goddess has entered her stage of young goddess women. I bought her sweet treats and organic pads. Her big sister took her shopping (clothes, bras, undies, purse, sun glasses) and gave her a mature look with new hair colour. (pics to come) She went around the house all day saying "I am so beautifull" "I love myself" I thought she looked like a glamorous movie star. As much as I would like to freeze a moment in time like a picture I love to see them grow and change into the creative beings we all are inside.

Mitch: From the day this little god came into my life I felt an old soul. I feel as if Mitch could take care of himself (practacially does) watching tv, eating, and playing video games all the while getting paid for it. He cant wait for The Garden Spot to open. He wants to serve food and get tips to buy more video games, a BIG flat screen tv, Yugioh cards, and a four wheeler. I am so happy he wants to do the cafe along with me. We will however have a special room in the cafe just for our little men (Mitch, Carter, and Jake) to watch tv, play video games, and hang out when they need a get away. I think he and I will always be more like close friends he is so apart of my personality I get that mirror of my best and not so great personality traits, I love him and thank him all the time for this.

Carter: I can hardly believe the last of the beautiful beings that enter this time space reality through my body is 6 now. He is not wanting to do much on his own, from my vantage point I see him struggle the last few months with wanting to conrol others (yelling and becoming so fustrated with those who will not do what he wants) and not wanting to do anything for himself. He is so sweet and he has these amazing eyes that draw me into just doing for him even when I am tired or empty. He is love and peace he is always giving me kisses and loves and tells Blake and I that we are "the best parents in the whole universe". I feel so at peace being around him when he is in his element. I revel in his love.

Me: I am busy busy working on The Garden Spot Cafe and I am having a blast learning growing and unschooling along the way. It feels so great all the way to my soul every time I am talking about it or working on anything to do with it. When ever a doubt comes to my mind it just immediately melts away from all the fire in my heart and soul with this cafe excitement and contentment. I know I am in bliss I feel so wonderful (I know I keep repeating myself). My plans now are to meet with a fellow business owner to fill in the rest of the numbers I need and then on the 11th of April I will meet with the small bus center again they will tell me what to do next. I feel a flow with all of this process. I know their is an investor out there wanting to invest $40,000 in one of the fastest growing industries, wellness/health. I will get to create a master piece of a cafe for all to be apart of and they in return with make a wonderful profit on their investment. I love myself even with those 10 pounds that I know are melting as you read.

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!

When Bliss Flows

I have read many books on the subject of bliss (as if one needs those), I think I read them to remind me of the bliss inside me, and it was not until lately that I am realizing my personal bliss with just me, myself and I. I never realized what the books really meant by "do what you love and the money (personal wellness) will too". I have experienced bliss many times yet I think that others had to be in my world to ignite the bliss. Now with the planning, creativity and care I am putting into THE GARDEN SPOT CAFE I am in my own world full of the true bliss charged by only myself.
Due to all this self actualization in bliss I am experiencing a new realm of confidence and excitement, life is flowing like a river that just keeps getting fuller and faster. I am creating this amazing restaurant full of "loving food to live for", an environment were people may come to relax be served and connect with others. People of all ages and sizes are welcome to read a book, play a game or just enjoy the food. I currently have one dollar to start and open the Garden Spot up and I know and feel the universe is connecting me to the rest of the funds needed. This is a win win for all involved whether you will be a customer, employee or investor all is and will be perfect.
Currently I am creating the business plan, just finished the delicious menu, creating a web site and I think I even found the perfect location. All is flowing so quickly and I am just feel the excitement and fun all along the way!
Life is so grand when you do what you love!

What's goin' on in the biz

I am busy busy creating my first business plan. WOW I love being a 36 year young unschooler. I get to follow my passion and inspire others, what a life I have. This whole business plan process is a lot to process and fun at the same time (if you have any advise PLEEEESE share). I am currently busy creating a menu (I love this part) and figuring out food cost (I enjoy the challenge). I am going with the KISS method (inspiring words from hubby) small menu so that I can add specials when I want. Living Pizza will be the house special, with more delicious food like, live garden burger wrap, thai curry bowl, and fun smoothies. 

Lately I have also been exploring the real estate market and that is another challenge since I am learning costs associated with commerical rental real estate. I feel we should keep it small and quaint to offer more of an intimate setting for people. I am also looking for "an achor" like a yoga studio or health oriented space. So far I did find a great spot just not the location I was looking for and it is a posiblity. I know the perfect spot will show up with perfect timing until now the figures are helpful for me to at least know what I can budget for.  

NOW One big important question is what will our name be? (again feel free to comment I would love the input) I have always loved "Delicious" for a restaurant and the first name I thought of was "Simply Deelicious" (since dee dee is my grandmother name), yet recently I thought of "Garden Spot" or "Deelicious Garden Spot"? Such an important process to name your restaurant and that puts questions out there we want a brand name because my goal is to open many of these cafes were ever I go! 

I love to create delicious creations for people to eat (my mozart) and I love to serve others and talk. Ultimately I want to provide a healthy alternative to the usual fast food industry, just for fun. 

More info to come so please comment and inspire with any ideas you have. 

Loves and BLISS

Following Your Life's Purpose

Lately I have been feeling discontentment in my life. 

It has been a dream of mine to own a healthy fast food restaurant!  I love to cook and prepare foods I have loved it ever since I can remember. So all the "experts" say do what you love! So I am in the works of creating a family centered, quick, healthy, living pizza, salad, smoothie cafe. I know all the negative talk about owning a restaurant and I also know that when you believe in yourself and your dream and when you feel good inside everything will work. It will be a win win for everyone: mostly organic fresh fruits and veggie for all to consume, quick and easy for all to order out or drop in, run as a family (I believe this is what is the natural learning process for humans) and of course great for the environment. 

I am so excited I can hardly sleep!

Creation in the Process

So in continuum to my last blog I sat down with one of my goddess sister's , Petra, and she inspired me to do something for myself (family) that I could do all the time, never get tired, and (for my requirement) my children could participate. See I have been feeling bored due to my own lack of being creative. Also I want to inspire my children in a real life setting to learn math, reading, writing, with purpose not just because. 

I also have wanted to start a restaurant ever since I was cooking food/waiting in restaurants years ago. So I thought I love preparing food, raw food, being around people (especially conscious aware people whom many times tend to eat either raw, organic or vegetarian foods), and being with my children. Food cooking- preparing is and has been a long life love of mine and my children and others love eating my raw food or vegan creations. I know all the yada with the down falls of owning a restaurant. I am focusing on the family business, ownership, fun and unity of a loving food community restaurant. 

I will also incorporating my "leaver" values of green living in anyway possible, hopefully we can put solar panels on the roof, low VOC paints, low lighting and organic or local farmers when ever possible. I will also be providing others food that in prepared in a positive loving creative setting full of conscious artistic efforts. Delicious simple creations complete with nutrition and care will be served. I have inspired my children so much Mitchel said "I will bring out the food for the people" Carter "I want to clear off the table" Bree "I could get my own cell phone with the money I earn" and Danyell will co-mange the restaurant and get to bring her baby packed on her back. Eventually Blake can quit his job that takes him so far away and be more present with us.

I believe an idea in which there is a win win in heart will bring forth greatness and prosperity! Our family wins, our friends and guests of our establishment win and the environment wins. In my heart I feel this creation aligns with my well being! I invite one and all to IN-JOY and experience the well beingness of the tasty nibbles in life and create an environment lovingly served with your heart and soul in mind!

Come In-Joy where you are always welcome!

Change is in the Air

There are seasons in the life of a mother. My seasons have come and circled back 2 times. I had 2 children close together and 4 1/2 years later had another child and then again 4 1/2 yrs later I had 2 more children close together. The baby season is over in my universe and for the last time I am entering the era of childhood 6 to 12 years old, while Breeana enters her teen years. Each stage is special and I enjoy and learn with these young people in my life through their differences as much as their similarities. I feel grateful to connect with these young minds and yet I feel a sense that something has always been missing. 

Now with Danyell and Marc gone out of the home, Breeana in Montessori school (by court order with Ex husband) and Mitchel and Carter doing their own explorations in life my role as their ever needed mother is becoming less of call. For the first time in my life I can not get enough books to read, I even went as far as to read a book a second time (a first for me). I am croqueting and living in my ever favorite movable home that I can not really move for at least the next 3 to 5 years. I have played this role as mother to babies since I was 16 years old and now 20 years later (wow that is hard to believe) I am experiencing new feelings. I feel content, happy and at the same time even boredom. 

One of my all time favorite novels is The Red Tent which is rather odd when I think about the fact that it is written as a biblical Jewish novel and I am anti religious (not anti spiritual). Yet I adore the the female bonding and support that Anita Diamant creates within her characters and historically I envy that part of the time back then when women were so supported to take time for themselves. There was so much love and support between sisters, mothers, daughters and just the relationships with women in the book I found fascinating. The second time I read it I started to think about the order of life and how do we know or how are we inspired to know what do our fathers or mothers do. 

Take breast feeding or home birth or even to earn a living, how do things happen, unfold, and take place in the natural order of our human race. In the past I have chastised women for feeding her child a bottle or women birthing their babies in an environment made from fear and medical emergencies. Our world is so big with media and children shoved off to school at 5 years of age how else do we learn? In false environments of separation and mindless "education" instead of inspired in real life roles. 

My sons really have no idea what their father does or how he does it. They spend the day with me doing just about everything for them and their sister, it seems artificial as if we have to make up things to do or the need for constant video games or TV and not real life living or community support. Not that I am saying that doing things for my children is bad, I just feel that there is a break in the natural order of a tribal community. A community in which girls learn to be women and are supported by women and boys learn to be men through a support system where fathers take their sons or sons of the community to "work" to learn what fathers do to support the family. 

I feel in my heart that being apart of a tribe is part of human instinct, the way we learn and grow is so important in a real life environment. In many countries this tribal culture still exists and in many cases holds on by a meir thread. For the others that have disconnected from this way of living I can feel that eventually as more and more people become spiritually conscious and connected so to will the tribal culture regain its power and one in which people men and women alike will come to equality and respect without separation in color, gender or age. 

Perhaps to appreciate the connection of oneness humans had to create the illusion of separateness and disconnect for a time. I love the prospect of tribal connection and I believe that it is important to start with myself and so I have created a tribe through friends. I will continue to create an environment within our family that will give Breeana a connection to women and the hows of being a mother, wife and also myself with my own interests. I will create a business with Mitchel and Carter to bring back the family business community and Blake will join and be the male influence in their life. Change starts with one idea, one thought and one with action. The rest is history!

A New Role in the Life of Young Men

Mitchel and Carter became uncles at the age of almost 8 and 6. At first Carter the "baby" of the family did not take well to his new role. Honestly I was a bit surprises to see Mitchel display such love and affection towards his new nephew, his display of the tough-guy just melted away the moment he held his new friend. I was not sure how Carter would react being that Danyell (Jake's mom and Carter's sister) has played a role to Carter as second mommy for most of his young life. For the past 3 and 1/2 months of Jake's life Carter refused to be uncle Carter and act knowledge him as no more than a pest. 

2 weeks ago while we were all over at Danyell's house Carter started to take to Jake. I just kept telling my daughter Danyell who was a little uneasy about Carter's behavior towards Jake to just "give Carter his space and he will come around." Carter did come around in his own time and now he gets to experience how to be gentle and soft towards his new found buddy and I believe from all the kissing and constant hugs that Carter and Jake are on a loving path. 

I think these are more unschooling experiences of allowing with honor and love. Just like reading, math or in this case compassion once anyone is given the space and opportunity life learning just happens and a child or adult can grow and expand. I think the best gift I can hope to offer these being that choose me to play their mother is love and space to be. I have experienced the importance of what it is to just BE WITH my child not be them or expect them to do or be anything they do not desire for themselves. I would love to inspire other parents to just give children their own space and just be their watching on their side. Watch them grow think and figure out how strong and special each one is.

 As I write this Carter is playing with magnets, what I can see from my point of view is the little figures put together from his hands and imagination, even more there is a glow in his eyes, and the energy of wellness and that all is perfect!

Sunday Filled Free Daze and Perfection

As I lye here in bed reading The Secret Life of Bees all morning and afternoon I feel a sense of peace and serenity. I look over to Carter who is playing the Xbox 360 Lego Star Wars and I can hear in the distance Mitchel on the computer challenging himself to a game he is so intent on winning. I am taken back to my childhood and the contrast. It has only been in the past 2 years or so when reading has been such a joy for me as I was growing up Saturdays were cleaning and then maybe play time Sundays where church going days and filled with lots of going around and frustration between my parents so thick you could cut it with a knife. Monday through Friday was school and never did feel that I just had time to be. 

I often think what my children will take from their experience in the time space reality when I play the role of mother just about 24 hours a day? Here I have 5 different people who choose to enter my life and me to have the pleasure to accommodate them in their journey and yet they have 5 different perspectives of what their experiences are. I am not sure what kind of mother they see through their beautiful eyes and I know I improve as life moves on and maybe that is all I can really do. I would like to think I allow them to be who they choose to be and take their journeys where they want them to go. As much as I know we naturally make distinctions between what suits us and what does not I know for sure that I will choose for myself what works for myself and not for others. 

Time for what I see and experience means everything and nothing at the same time. Time in the sense of space and progress and not clock time. It is what I feel as if I could imagine a tree senses the seasons, they come and go and will come again. I have experienced many spaces of time and my memory fills me full of joy and if I am not present enough even sadness at times. At the same time I have gained a stronger realization of illusion a knowing that I have been on this earth many times and there will be many more times here is to experience joy and even times of powerlessness in order to see, really see the true humor of life not take this world so literal, so serious. 

My mind drifts and I think,

In this moment Marc 17yrs is choosing a life I know nothing of. Dumbing his experience down with drugs to somewhere I do not know, for he has ran away. I have see in his eyes his illusion of torment and pain all self inflicted. He is perfect we are all perfect. I know this is now his journey where my role is one more of arms open wide full of love and to assure him all is well when he chooses. He tells me he sees himself as broken, lost and confused. I remain rooted in the earth full of peace and a knowing that all will be well for him and for all. From a distance even the storm is beautiful and perfect. 

I remember more knowing experiences,

Years ago Carter was in a hospital with many babies in an ICUnit the doctors would not tell me he was going to exit this earth yet all I could see was fear in their eyes that he would not pull through. I started to feel so powerless to do anything and then my spiritually connected friend, Dixie, reminded me that all would be well. We all choose our life and death no matter how ugly it may seem or who will be sad, our best role as the mother was to be the supporter of their choices.  I went over to Carter and I could feel his confession to leave or to stay. I dug deep into the part of my soul where knowing remains and whispered in his ear it is OK to rest let the doctors do what they do, I support your decision if you choose to leave I will miss you and I will understand. The next day hope entered the energy of the room and I know he had decided to stay. 

I am grateful I am allowed to be here enjoying this Sunday no need for church or frustration. These wonderful beings these children that choose me to play their mother, are free to be on a journey all their own, and connected to me to all at the same time. I will remain knowing that this is a victimless universes all well. They are strong they are connected to all and to spirit all at the same time. I feel peace and strength. I had children to be educated about something I came in knowing and maybe forgot a bit of before they came, I wanted the reminder, the in site into a universes beyond sight deep into the soul. 

Chapter 10 is waiting along with Mitchel and the computer.

Life is perfect

Life is Bliss!

 

Educators Via Teachers and just 4 Laughs

I love gross humor and people who know how to redirect and inspire others in a peaceful manner. The story below has both.

This story is of a principle and some teen aged girls in school and although I am not an industrial eduction supporter I loved the way this principle redirected or rather inspired this group of girls to stop the unwanted behavior of lipstick on the bathroom mirror. Only for example purposes only, not that I see anything wrong with lipstick and mirrors.

Beware I was only told this story so I am paraphrasing:

After countless times of courteous requests by the school principle a group of girls kept on insisting on kissing the bathroom mirror as they left the building. The principle decided that a demonstration in front of the entire class of young girls (so not to single out anyone in particular) might do the trick. After everyone congregated in the bathroom the principle proceed to dip a rag into the toilet and swish it around and clean the toilet. Then he took the same rage and started wiping off the bath mirror (former place of lipstick). Needless to say there was never any lipstick on the bathroom mirrors. LOL

Take life with humor it is Bliss!!

Create Your Universe on Purpose

I feel an overwhelming gratitude for the connections I have created in my universe. For my friends and family and the family/friends who I refer to as the family I created on the planet NOW. 

As I was driving by a gas station yesterday and looked over to see the current price of a gallon of fuel I believe my heart skipped a beat when I saw fuel starting at $4.01 a gallon. I consciously began to feel a sense of gratefulness towards to people in charge of this fuel process. 

Now you are probably thinking I am crazy. You are right and I have a belief that we are all connected! We are part of the whole that makes up all this time space reality. I feel there is a focus going on in our world of fear over the fuel prices, over war in oil countries, and all associated with this subject. I have too been there myself and done just that and NOW I am and have changed my perspective to one of thankfulness -GRATITUDE! 

I think change happens so perfectly when the contrast is so strong, like fuel prices raising at such a rapid rate! Desire coming when there is pain, perhaps in your pocket book, if one is not careful desire out of pain or helplessness will only creates more pain and helplessness and more raising fuel prices. Desire when there is simply a contrast of what is not wanted is there to create positive emotion of wanting in a perspective of creativity, as in an alternative to fossil fuel and clean energy. 

As a culture we have been using fossil fuels to power many of our daily pleasures for about 100 years now. Now is the time for change! I feel the change is coming! I feel the energy in the wave of creative minds going to work quickly (because of the contrast of rising fuel costs and the environmental attentions) to create something so amazing we may all rise to the feeling of possibly POWERFULNESS.

We all  feel contrast within our being and consciously we can choose to be grateful. Grateful that we have the beautiful or not so beautiful contrast and KNOW that all it well and perfect. We are here on this wonderful time space reality to experience all the contrast provided to us perfectly and in all the right timing. As you read this my wish goes out to you to gain awareness and KNOW that there IS perfection in all contrast and only by striving for consciousness will we see it. 

I would love to see us join each other in a conscious effort through our thought, words and actions and feel at least hopeful that there is a wonderful solution to all the not so beautiful contrast that we are experiencing around us. 

Join the conscious movement as be! We are walking through a bed a roses can you smell, see, feel, and taste the beauty that you wish to create in the NOW (not the thorns that we may step on along the way)?

With Bliss,

Darlene

I feel hopeful for the future of human kind

May 19, 2008
Milk of human kindness


PERSONAL CONTRIBUTION: Ms Jiang Xiaojuan is helping to nurse eight babies affected by the quake.

A CHINESE policewoman is contributing to the country's massive earthquake relief effort in a very personal way - by breast-feeding eight babies.
A newspaper in Chengdu, the capital of quake-hit Sichuan province, yesterday devoted a special page to 29-year-old Jiang Xiaojuan, calling her a 'hero' while Web users hailed her as 'the most beautiful mother' in the world.

Ms Jiang, from the quake-ravaged town of Jiangyou, has just had a child herself, the Western Daily reported. She is breast-feeding the children of three women who have been left homeless by the quake and are too traumatised to nurse, as well as five orphans, the report said.

One mother, Ms Chen Tanghua, 36, said she has been unable to breast-feed her six-month-old son. He had been crying from hunger until Ms Jiang offered to breast-feed him.

The babies who lost their parents have been put in an orphanage which does not have powdered milk, the newspaper reported. It said Ms Jiang brushed off a reporter's questions about her deed by saying: 'All mothers love children. Nursing a few babies is no big deal.'

AGENCE FRANCE-PRESSE

Is Image everything?

For the past few years i have been intrigued by the idea of shaving my head. I wanted to know what it physically felt like to be physically "naked". Carter woke one morning in April requesting that he wanted to get a mohawk hair cut that day! So after explaining all the to do about the non existence of hair he still wanted the mohawk and so he did get it. After the hair cut Carter said "I want my hair back". After some colored gel and talk he soon came to like his new red mohawk. A few days later I woke and decided I wanted to shave off my hair and metaphorically speaking all the negativity in my life too and see what it was like to be hair-free! 

I was a bit sadden to see that most of the reaction I received was the people asking or presuming I had cancer. Kids mostly just point and say "mom look that lady has no hair". I personally loved the freedom of waking up and not having to do my hair. Life has been easy and carefree. Blake on the other hand has not liked it. He shaves his hair (due to top balding) and he says it feels a little strange with both of us with shaved. 

I saw a show were a very beautiful thin actress dressed up in a suit designed to make her look bigger than her now self. She received different stares and attention then before. People walking away from her and avoiding her rather than towards her and drawn to her. Was it her in the suit and her energy of difference or just the suit and the images people put in their minds?

When I was little I remember thinking that if all people were blind we would be forced to see the true people inside, even ourselves. Our eyes can actually hinder our ability to see the beauty within ourselves and others. 

I love a new show on cable TV (not that I watch TV too often) called "How to look good Naked" I recommend watching it at least once. The host on the show helps women see themselves as the beautiful women they really are no matter what size, age or color, instead of the illusion they have in their head. They are confronted with the illusion and feelings behind their image and then go through a process by which to SEE the beauty within themselves. By the end of the show they are feeling better about their self image enough to have nude photos taken of them (very tastefully done I might add) and then placed out in the open for public opinion. I think because of their confidence and love of who they really are.

 Now I think "I was born with hair I have always had hair and then at 36 years 6 months nothing but skin." This process has been freeing, uncomfortable at times and uncertain and growing. Growing in a way of cleaning off the old and welcoming the new the NOW. I am observing the growth of my hair the textures, colors, and growth that change each day. I am calm and patient and at times i see the many strands of gray and think that must be this body and not me for I AM new colorful and FULL of LIFE! 

Image or not I AM on the inside,

Darlene

I am finally back in the saddle

So the past few months I have been in a different phase. Without making this a 12 page blog I will give you the condensed version:

January: moved out of house into a 1980 GMC Midas C Class RV 

Marc, the dog and girlfriend Salina moved out.

February: in court:ex-husband wants Breeana (currently unschooling) in school

And NEW grandbaby is born YEA Jake.

March:New 5th Wheel YEA and Marc moves back in YEA! 

April: Court again and Breeana forced into school (judge does not like me cuz I'm not paying her campaign fund LOL), luckily its Montessori.

May: Moved from Boulder City to Las Vegas again Marc graduation from High School. 

Currently: all is well just as life goes. I miss the totally unschooling life with all 3 of my younger children and I am grateful that Bree is at least in a Montessori school and not in "Industrial Education called Public Schooling". I am standing by while my 17 yr old son is experiencing in bouts of unhappiness (called "depression" and "anxiety")and him wanting to take doctor prescib pills (something I have never believed in or given my children) and allowing it to be his choice. Blake and I are getting along better than we have in 4 years I feel we are on the up side of a really rocky battle and the dust is settling and we realize we are really better at being friends than enemies. I feel hopeful that even though I think I jumped the gun on living in a RV a little too soon I am here were I am. . .  living  . . . . breathing . .  . I AM. 

I miss my blogging I think it is the only time I can write and feel free to say what I want to say. Strange considering anyone can read these thoughts. And there are no secrets we are all connected all apart of one another I love me and I love you if you are reading thanks for the ear!

Darlene

PS I am back on the blogging train and I am not getting off again (I feel hopeful about this statement)!