Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Carter's Unasssited Birth

One of my strongest passions and opinions is Home birthing and even more so Unassisted Birthing. I would really love to know when in the ______ did it become a medical process to birth a baby in a hospital and treat it like a medical condition? I think that by creating this hospital birth thing that problems with babies are caused by it. (great video watch at www.unassitedchildbirth.com). 

I dedicate this blog to women who have taken back their bodies and their birthing experience and peacefully given back the power they once gave away.

I don't believe that things just happen to us. I believe we all manifest what things happen and what we get is what we asked for. 

Carter's Journey to the outside world

In December 2001 I was pregnant with our youngest child, Carter, and due March 23,2002. I was surfing the net for birth stories and attracted a fabulous birth site unassitedchildbirth.com. I was hooked! The more stories I read the better I felt, I knew this was for us and so the journey began.  
Now as I do with anything passion I find I dive into the water and submerse myself in it. I secretly began planning and preparing for this new birthing experience. I ordered 5 books on Unassisted birthing and read them all in a week. I was gaining a since of power just planning this birth. Then the next step came and that was to let Blake and my friend and midwife, Dixie in on it. I still remember the look on Blake's face when I told him we would be birthing our baby together just him and I. "What the F###?" were the exact words he used and then he proceeded to call me crazy and no way was he going to let that happen. 
Now Blake and I had already had Mitchel our first home birth with Dixie (midwife/friend) and things had gone well enough for taken Castor oil and pushing out a almost 10 pd baby after having only 7 pounds or under. But I did tear up and still felt like I was still not the one in the drivers seat. I felt like home birth was definitely what I wanted and I just wanted more.
As the weeks pasted and still I had not told Dixie and Blake was not supporting me yet (I knew he would come around) I just began to meditate and visualize me birth. I started eating 100% raw foods and I became even more clean on what I wanted. 
Each afternoon after Mitchel was napping I would get in the bath with all the lights off and light candles and play music (Jewel and Enja). I began to imagine how easy and pain free labor would be and even added a few organisms in there because I had read about other UA birth were women had had organisms. I felt very calm and serene about the birth and yet at the same time Blake and I still debating and I could not get up the nerve to let Dixie in on it. 
February arrived and Dixie had come to visit us in St. George, UT where we were living for a prenatal visit and a conference we were attending together. She listened to the heart beat and felt around my belly. The baby was breach and she told me it was probably because something was going on with B and I and the baby could sense it(she was totally correct). So I decided to wait to tell her because now B was even more against UA. I stopped talking to Dixie and decided that at my next appointment I would let her know. I had also made up my mind that I wanted this UA birth so much that I would have the baby on my own even if B was not there.
4 weeks later B insisted on an ultra sound to see if the baby was still breach. I went along with it even though I knew everything was fine and I was NOT concerned. He was fine and I told Dixie as I was leaving. Looking back I wish I had told her sooner because the relief of telling her made me feel so good. B and I were not so good and I kept begging him to just read on of the books on UA and then if he still felt that concerned we could talk. He refused and my due date came and went. 
On Tues. March 23 I was so excited and thought we would be holding our little one in our arms when I went to the bathroom and my mucus plug came out. Now this was the only time until the placenta came out that I bled and personally I think it was Carter's was of warning us to get together on the birth. Still no baby and no B and I coming to an understanding. Weeks passed and I was starting to get a bit concerned. Then on the even of April 1st I began to experience 5 min apart contractions and I thought for sure this was the day. Again I knew this was Blake's baby with his sense of humor because the baby was either playing games or telling us to get together. 
More and more days moved on and then finally on Sunday morning April 14, B came in and told me he was on board and wanted to go hiking at Zion. I felt so good still and even better after he said that I wanted to go. On our drive up to Zion B told me he only read a few pages in one of the books. The women wrote about how women all over the world today have always had their own babies, alone. How natural it was yadda yadda yadda. Did I not say these say words and more? YES and did he listen?? Who cares all I knew was it was time for baby to come NOW since he would not come without his dad. 
The next evening April 15 I went into a very good labor and what did I do? After waiting and waiting and longing to finally holding my baby, I could not have my baby on tax day! Many of you right now must thing this lady is a bit or more nuts but I wanted this babies day to be a positive one and not one most people dread. So the very next day I took my bath, with meditation and spoke to our baby and we all decided that the 16 was the day. I got out got dressed and started outside to garden. 
Around 6 pm I began to get light hugs (contractions) and around 8 their were getting 5 min apart. I got into the bath turned on the music and lit the candles. As the minuets pressed on and the pain increased B came in and started to BE with me. Danyell (our oldest daughter, 13) came in and we all laughed and talked, between contractions. Mitchel came in and out and then just went into the other room with his brother, Marc (11 years). Breeana (6.5 yrs) fell asleep and B put her to bed. By 9pm the hugs were becoming very uncomfortable and B got out the other kids photo albums and we started to talk about the 3 babies he had missed, in between hugs, and during these intense hugs he would kiss me and that just seemed to very much lessen the pain. 
9:45 pm or there about (I was not really keeping tract of exact time) I could feel the babies head and the water had not yet broke. I asked Danyell and Marc if they wanted to feel the water? Marc was grossed out by the thought of me asking and Danyell was interested. I was getting restless and so I wanted B to break my water. He could not do it because he said his fingers were too big. I was frustrated with pain and so I reached down and pinched the bag with my nails pulled and the water broke. 
The real fun started at 10pm approached and Mitchel was ready for his "nummies" to go to sleep. I could not nurse him at this moment and so Danyell took a screaming Mitchel out of the bathroom and at the same time the hugs were at top pain. I told myself to focus on the love between B and I with no relief the hugs were coming one on top of the other with no relief. I started to talk to the baby and begged to please give me just a little break and within a minute I could feel my body start to push. Now I had never felt this total reaction of my body and I just kept reminding myself to allow the baby to push and I resisted the urge. I wanted to catch the baby myself but could not get my hands secure enough between my legs, so I commanded B to catch the baby because he was coming. 
Now as I describe the next event I must let you know that it is as if like in those movies I've seen were time stands still and yet one or two people can still converse while the rest of the people and room is frozen. 
Blake caught the baby and brought him up to me, I could see he was blue and that the cord (I have really long cords) was wrapping around his neck 3 times. It as if I did not even have time to be scared or panic. I just simply unwrapped the cord and turned him over on my arm in a straddle position and began to rub his back. At this point I realize he is a boy because I can feel his enlarged baby penis. 
As I turn him over and held him in my arms I looked into his eyes as he looked into mine and this moment that was only a moment seemed like there was a whole conversation of appreciation and elation going on between he and I. As we looked into one an other's eyes we both began to smile and thank each other for the most incredible moment in my life. He never cried or made any noise beyond breathing. As I looked up to B  all I could say was he is here and we did it, we did it!
As I stepped out of the tub I could feel my placenta drop out of me and when I tell you I have long cords I am not kidding you, I had the baby in my arms with the placenta in the tub and there was still some slack. B put the placenta into a pan and we went to nurse, both babies mind you, in the bedroom. Although I must say nursing an infant and toddler took some time and getting use to. After I had Mitchel to sleep B cleaned up and we started trying on names. I was very caught off guard I was certain he was a she and we only had a female name. 
The next day B finally came up with using my maiden name, Carter (Howard Navarre), and so it fit him. The next day we borrowed the neighbors scale and 6 pounds even and 21 inches. He was very overdue I could tell by his very dry skin and his weight compared to his length. I read that babies that are overdue begin to lose weight. WOW, Source thought of everything. I was not really sore and ended up only bleeding for 2 weeks and very little at that. I did not tear and felt great. 
I did not sleep for three days from the excitement and empowerment I gained. It has been over 5 years since Carter's birth and I still remember most every detail. I loved every one of my babies births and though I remember most of the details of each one of them, Carter's was the only one I felt empowered were the others I felt dis empowered. 
I feel so at peace and grateful still to this day for the wonderful journey Carter, Blake, and I had. We created Carter and we brought him into this world together and if I could inspire any women wanting total self empowering control over your birthing experience I absolutely recommend at least the thought of an unassisted home birth. 


Life Gives Words Meaning

Words are just words LIFE gives them meaning. 

Can you read these words? 
Did you learn how to sound them out?
Can you spell them?
If not you could go to school and learn to read and spell them. I am sure that school could help you put them in sentences and eventually you may get to write an essay or 2 on the definition of them. 
Yet what is the MEANING? 

Mitchel is 7 and he tells me that he is not interested in reading nor does he care RIGHT NOW if he does read. He does not have the NEED to read, nothing in his life would require him to read and so why does he need to read? To many people in our world he is behind, to him and I he is in control of his wants and desires and HIS learning. Does he understand these words and there meanings? He is smart, he understands passion and frequently challenges others to follow their passion (including his dad). He has challenged himself in many of his passions in his 7 years, currently Pokemon on his DS is the flavor of the time. He displays laughter, joy and all the while inspiring others by just Being. He loves eating raw, living fruits and veggies and eats 2 LARGE salads a day, 3 Large smoothies and grapes abundantly. In fact he has been making his own salads and smoothies since the age of 4 years. He wants to own his own smoothie stand on the beach were avocados (his favorite food) grow year round. He wrote his name before the age age of 3 and somehow along his path he "learned" math or loves numbers so much that he knows how to add, subtract, and multiply and I do not know when, where or how he "learned" to do them. I see the Ordinary Miracles in him daily for he just knows what he wants and knows how to manifest it (he knows the "Secret"). I was talking of school one day and even though he has never gone or been apart of that experience he let me know that he does not need school, nor will he ever go for he already understands how to learn and does it everyday. Dream, from my perspective, his whole life is a dream, he chooses his life his experience and his path dreaming happens day and night. 

Unschooling or LIFE LEARNING is our whole family life we all get the chance to be who we are and live a life most would never think was reality or possible. We are gaining meaning through life-loving life-living life front and center as we want, when we want. 

I once asked myself what my life meant to me and I did not know, not ever. Now I love my life I love the chance that I have to love myself and grow and learn and be who I am. I am still growing up, finding my passion and joy and I hope to keep doing so for the next 100 years. I know that everyone has a chance to find their own meaning to life, to words once simply on a chalk board can have true, real meaning. After all how can you find meaning in words if living is controlled and structured, moderately with bits and pieces of information given only at the "right" time were play time is scheduled and one is not allowed to be spontaneous??

I inspire you to find your meaning of life and Live everyday one passion at a time!!

Laughing Goddess on Tuesday

I woke this morning at 8:30 am to the sound of Rachel, a Goddess sister, swimming laps in my pool. I felt so excited (a child excitement) as I combed my hair and ran downstairs to join her. We tired soon (or just wanted to talk more than work out) and retired to the hot tub. We talked of our childhood and why this and why that and laughed and relaxed. Next we ate watermelon under the clouding sky. As we laughed some more I just thought to myself how much I really en JOY my time with her and being grateful for her and the friendship and connection we have! Soon she had things to do and I so did I (lazily I might add) by noon she and her children left to continue with their life learning day and I sat down to the computer and read emails and blogs (my new passion). Soon I came to Rachel's blog: freetoliveandlearn.blogspot.com and more laughs(rolling laughs) and even some tears came on and I was even more in love with this goddess sister, Rachel! She reminds me of all the craziness I have seen in the past with myself running around my house getting the kids to do what I think HAS to be done in that moment: grabbing hold of the oars and getting into a boat and rowing up stream. All this inspires me to think more about my parenting and my life in general and I love it all! 

Thought: I find the world we live in so backwards, please somebody wake me up (but not too early, I am nocturnal LOL) when people remember who they are and were born to BE- individuals with a mind all there own. No need for parents, teachers, bosses, spouses, everyone, to tell another what and where to do IT (what ever IT is)!
 Just simply trust that all will be safe and well. 
WE are all individually connected Spirits having a Human experience!!!
(Laugh, Live, Love Completely, is life really that serious you cannot SMILE?)

Relax and KNOW and TRUST that: 
Kids Know
Kids Learn all they will ever NEED to know
Kids are creative
Kids are intelligent
Kids are smart
Kids are Safe
Kids have passion
Kids forgive
Kids are Joyful Beings
Kids can think for themselves
Kids could take care of themselves very early if need be (think about that one)
Kids. . . . (fill in your blank)
I learn more from my children and those around me then any 17 years of schooling ever did for me.

I love Rachel,
Thank you for a great Tuesday,

Being Myself and Enjoying Blake

D and Blake enjoying the museum together.

Being ME and Enjoying Blake

The gifts Blake has brought to my life is so endless and so meaningful that I appreciate him so. I am a very loving person and I am also a very free bird. When I write these words or speak them I wonder how I have been able to have 5 children and marry 3 times and remain with Blake for the past 9.5 years. I do not like to be told what to do!!!  I must me able to have a lot of freedom and I say what I mean and mean what I say, and I am true to myself. That said that is why I appreciate and Love Blake so much. Blake reminded me of what life, love, and laughter where about. He is fun and funny, loving and understanding. He knows his passion and joy- Motorcycles! He lets me be and he is who he is and I have learned to let him be. He listens and loves me know matter what. I get the best of all worlds: myself and what I want to do and also I get to enjoy the time I spend with him doing- whatever! 
I know I am still discovering myself and my passion, my joy and I know along my path I can count on my friend and love and one of the best fathers I know, Blake. 
My personal thanks and graditude to Blake for all that he allows me to do and support me even if he does not agree you are a great example to me.

I love you Blake,


A Monday in the Life of a Life Learner

Quinn, Breeana, And Gino with amazing Animal Crossing on the DS.

Zeb, Keegan, Mitchel, and Carter, DS and Pokemon its a kid thing
Mitchel and Roman and Pokemon on the DS, very deep stuff.
Sidney in her boxing cat pose made especially by her with black plastic bag.

Monday's Life Learning
Allowing our kids to play and do what they love while enjoying a great day: playing their game systems while in the museum, talking too loud while in the museum (getting in trouble by staff), run around the museum (while getting in trouble with the museum staff), walk up the side of the stairs (not on the stairs-not getting caught), sleep over, swim, stay up until ?? (it is now 12:14 am and all are up except dad), all while I am doing what I love- blogging. 
I love my Mondayz with Dany, Amy, Trisha, Roman, Gino, Gabriel, Rachel, Keegan, Quinn, Caroline, Jordan, Sidney, Tara, Zeb, Blake, Breeana, Mitchel, Carter, and new Life Learn we hope to know more!!! Want to Play? We are always looking for lovers of life and children taking you with open arms at Las Vegas Life Learner!

Monday, July 30, 2007

Language of LOVE

Rachel, Caroline, and Me 
We are soul sisters and we know the language!

"Can you understand the Words tha' are comin' out of my mouth?"

Language  of Love

There is a language that is English in nature and the words may sound very familiar to you and yet many many people can not understand the language. I will attempt to explain myself in the most complete and simple fashion as possible. 
First the language as best I can describe: 
Life Learning and Life Allowing Ourselves and Others to Live and Flow Down Stream, our own stream, with our passion and joy with a mix of contrast to give us clarity to know what direction to take. 

Lets start with myself for example, I was born as a free thinker (like all children) and yet unlike many children I would not conform and continued doing things in a way that my parents thought was wrong, different, bothersome, and just plain made their lives miserable. I never thought I was any of these things I just thought I was doing things the way I felt good about the situation. I did not understand the concept of school and not being able to ask questions or be with my mother or why could I only play at a certain time or why I could only have chocolate milk on Fridays, or etc.. I never thought the world, I was in, made any sense as if I was being asked to walk backwards, like it and STOP asking questions or doing those things that were so "bugging" others (especially my parents). I grew up feeling very bad about myself, yet from a broader perspective NOW I understand that that was all just a lot of contrast into who I am today and how I am and what I want to be as a person and as a parent. 

Now in this current moment as I think about my needs, wants, and passions, I first and foremost want to be allowed to be who I am without judgement or restriction. You and I are different and I love that about us. I choose to accept you where you are at any moment and I would just love the same. Now that I am an adult I think that I get this respect most of the time and when I don't I just turn around and allow that person to be and give them space to do it in. Now do children get this same consideration? I finally asked myself this question one day in my adult world After I had 5 children. I realized that rarely did I or anyone I knew treated their children like people but more of helpless beings incapable of making their own decisions or creating their own lives. 

WOW another moment in time when I started to discover the new Language of Love. Unconditional true Love the kind babies are born with and dogs most always have forever. With my new discovery at hand I started to discover all kinds of new and amazing "words" and lights starting going off in my mind. I took a look at my life, my parenting and the friends that I had. I looked so close at myself and the way I treated others especially my children and found that the way I told them what to do and not do would never work for me. I was forcing, bribing,  and just plain being rude. I never really thought about what I was doing I was just doing many of the things that were done to me and unconsciously parenting. 

Now this was NOT an easy conclusion to come to, considering that I wanted to look at myself so closely and then change the way I was doing just about everything. I was Learning a new language or maybe this was a language I once knew as a very young person and was only now becoming conscious of this Language. I began to allow my children to be who they were and are and do what their hearts lead them to do. I was aware and awakening and then the most amazing thing happened, allowing my children to BE also awakened the children within me. I started to allow myself to feel and to acceptance and love me. 

 I have discovered that the children that came through my body are my partners and kindred spirits in an environment built to find each one of our own individual joy and passions. I get to respect that my window of perspective is different than anyone and that is perfect. I have found friends that have become the sister's and brother's I have always wanted. I am still exploring all of the possibilities of what my passion is and feeling younger all along the way. I have gained a thirst for living and I do things because I want to and not because I have to and no longer is fear or guilt my guild. I understand that I am a spiritual being having a human experience and I am here to experience contract to gain joy, love and passion in my life. 
I continue daily to grow into the parent and person I want to see when I look in the mirror. Once in a while I still get into a bad space and screw up but I know how to get myself out and climb up that ladder to hopefulness, knowing, and JOY. 

I invite and inspire you, fellow free bird, to STOP get out the mirror and look closely at yourself and ask yourself "how do I treat myself and the world I have created so far?" "Am I caged within my mind and unconsciously living?" Give yourself the best gift of all and let go, step out of your box, and pull out the map of joy and passions and start plotting. All the life you always wanted is awaiting you release yourself and the judgements, the have to's, the F E A R and LIVE the ART of ALLOWING Yourself and Others to be all that your hearts care for. It is safe for you to let go or the oars and live the life of your joys and passions the stream will take you there.  

Monday, July 23, 2007

Watching 60 years of Beauty!

Saturday night I hosted a surprise party for my dear soul mother, friend, and goddess of 60 years, Dixie. She is one of the most amazing women I have had the privilege of knowing. She set new standards for the look at 60 both inside and out. She birthed 7 children of her own children (long term nursing each one until at least the age of 5 and beyond)and has helped hundreds more as she is a midwife. She has a soft demeanor and yet she is powerful in her mind and spirit. She cares for others and her self for she loves unconditionally. I am constantly inspired and delighted by just the way she speaks and gives advice carefully. I think she is a star: www.gorawnow.com. 
I love her so very much and I am so grateful to her for all the love she has given me the past 8 years!

Now at 1:30am on Monday morning I am so tired I can barely keep my eyes open and yet I feel totally happy typing away and thinking of how much I love life and how blessed I feel that I have manifested amazing children/friends and friend/goddess/sisters. I just spent the past 3 days loving and laughing with my friends and family. My heart is so full of love now! I get to rest my head now and wake up to a fun relaxing day of gaming, swimming and hopefully more laughing. 

Just when life seems so wonderful is just gets better.

Sweet Dreams to all,

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Soulful Connection and My Goddess Sisters

I just laid down after a night with some amazing women who I so love spending time with. We met tonight to celebrate Caroline's birthday and yet I feel like my own cup is so full a present I gave to myself just spending time with them. 

I always remember having friends from the time I was little yet I felt like something was missing, a true soulful connection. Is it I that has changed or maybe just my idea and thoughts of what kind of friendship I want and desire. These fellow goddess's are more like my soul sisters that I am continuously inspired and delighted by. We laugh, cry, and talk, we support one another and encourage each other to always get what you personally want. We understand one another on a level that I can not explain. All driven together because of our children now being together because we want to be together and enjoy just being with one another. 

I ask myself why cant all relationships be like these that I have with my goddess's sisters? I am who I am and they are who they are no one tries to be someone they are not and we just love love love and enjoy the whole truth of each others self. I love them as they are family to me a part of a tribe I so long for. Our times together are simple and soft and nothing any one looking in would think was all that special, yet to me they are like escapes into a world where only we exist. Like fairy (and this coming from someone that does not like cutesy stuff) in a forest our connections are so magical. 

I know we live in this world that is moving so fast that to connect with another human is scary to many and as much as I do love technology I long for a tribal community with people like these women. I wonder how more amazing life could be if people would connect with each other on a soulful level stop with the worry of this fleshy bloody world and connect with one another spiritually and soulfully and see the truth and still love unconditionally. My intentions are that I appreciate everyone of my soul sisters and I want them to know how much they are loved by me. My heart, mind and body are full now and as I go to sleep I send all my love and thanks. I inspire any one to stop look around and find a someone to connect to and love.

For now I am complete,

Thursday, July 19, 2007

First Hand Family Multiplication

I am not sure a women truly understands what being a mother is all about. After all like anything there is not even really guild lines until one experiences anything. For instance explain to a young child or anyone for that matter what touching a "hot" stove is about. Describe "Hot" until a person touches the stove "hot" means nothing and so as a mother I finally learned to stand back and allow my children to touch, feel, smell, taste, experience first hand so they themselves can have first hand experience. Now how you may ask does touching a stove and math have anything to do with one another well let me explain.

I was born having to experience first hand what everything was about. Touching the stove, doing drugs, drinking, smoking, sex, living, breathing, etc.. You can not warn me on anything if it looks even the least bit fun I am going to experience it for myself. So I choose in my ever sexually driven ways to experience being a mother 5 wonderful times. Not realizing so many things that I eventually am learning. 5 multiplied by 2 equals 10 multiplied to the power of ???? See?? Let me explain. . .  

My oldest daughter, Danyell, lives with her now life partner, Cris, who is now my new son (did not have to deliver this one thank goddess) and they are having their first baby ???? in March 2008. WOW I am a DEE DEE (no grandmother name here thank you)!! I am very excited and sad at the same time. I love babies: nursing, their smell, their cuddle, the looks and innocence, bonding, sleeping with them etc. I dont like that I loose who I am in them and forget about me. So for me I am happy that Danyell gets to be a mommy. This is now her adventure and not mine and for that it feel mixed (happy she is the mommy and missing the fun mommy stuff I do love). I am a home-birther (unassisted) and long term breast feeder (7 yrs so far) and I get to come to terms within myself that this is her experience and no matter what I did she may choose differently. 

This is my part of the journey, letting go and accepting this is not my journey. What I am finding is that for the most part how children are raised does not always influence their decisions of how they will parent or be. YES she is having a midwife (by my soul mother, Dixie) at our home birth and YES she is going to breast feed for ? Then she told me no I am not going to home school! Another WOW to the heart and then I just get to remind myself to let go and let my ego cry a bit. She was home schooled most of her life, school, school at home (homeschool) and finally unschooled. She always said she liked it?? Second I start thinking "is this not about the child's wants and needs and not Danyell's?" Then I let go again and reminded myself that this is her journey, she is and was apart of my journey but she is not mine (ownership). She came with her own journey her own life, to live and experience her own contrast through her own perspective.

Currently she is throwing up and I am feeling the best I can physically feel, now I am apart of her and not her. This is her fun her journey her life and I am so grateful for that. 

Ok so 7 in our family became 9 and then became 10.5 ?? See Marc (16yrs) also added a new addition to our family with his partner Salina,18yr (another child I get to enjoy and not birth). Salina and Marc live together in our home. They are perfect for each other. Yin and Yang, he is strong willed and loves to be in control of everyone and everything. Yet I think he does this out of wanting to do want he thinks is best for all. Salina, is so into being with Marc, calm, sweet and laughs all the time. When his temper flares she is there to help calm him. It is so cute and sweet so sappy. They say they will be waiting for children (after a very close call) and so we have Bella my granddog (the .5). They both are unschooling in the strangest way in their room with lots of fun noises coming out from time to time. They do not have employment at this time but I am hopeful that someday that will end, soon with no pressure from me. 

My little tribe of 7 is growing and will eventually be ? Amazing how life works out. I am under the impression that our babies come through us as a portal to come back into this universe without always choosing you per say but just you to get out here and get busy again experiencing contrast and expanding their source. I will still be the mom-friend that I am, in the way I do it because I feel good doing it and I never know what I do that my children may like and come back to eventually. My journey is mine and they are who they are and I get to stand back and keep saying over and over "Life is Perfect" I will go with the flow down stream!!!

Every Ending is a New Beginning
After a volcano eruption life grows beyond amazement.
My baby time (for this life time) is over and yet life goes and grows still. 

expanding my source and knowledge I love learning through experience and contrast,

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

The Beginning or rather the Continue

So this is the beginning of The Whole Peaceful Pie 
I decided that not only can a talk like no other I also have more words then I get time to say plus I have questions for the world that I just dont get. 
The Whole Peaceful Pie is more about the picture of a life I see for myself. It involves peaceful PET parenting, unschooling myself and my children (Danyell 18, Marc 16, Breeana 11yr, Mitchel 7yr, Carter 5yr), eating the whole foods way(uncooked fruits and veggies only), vegan ism, common sense consumerism(making my own veggie fuel instead of buying fuel) supporter of alternative products to help the universe,  finding MY Darlene JOY and being a partner to Blake 47yr. Even though I am only 35yr I feel like I am 19 years young body and spirt with a mind of someone much older and wiser. I live by common sense and I think even quantum physics makes sense to me. I love spiritual awareness Abraham-Hicks is my guide and I just began to meditate this past month. I am not religious or a christian but I believe in the god/goddess or source within myself and the power I have to manifest everything I choose to align with. Since I have been a mother for over 19 years my passion and commitment to my children is what I have taken to the max. I was not a good student because school was boring to me. I was a very great at causing chaos and craziness for my mom and dad.

 So I spared my parents the pain and at the young age of 15 yrs I decided that living on my own and getting out of public education was best for me. I went on the becoming a party girl and living like I was from the late 60's going from party house to party house hanging out with people twice my age. At 16 I was pregnant and that was something I never thought I wanted. I cleaned up my act took to mothering and against my better judgement got married. The great thing from that married was my second child and then I got the ____ out. I sure have done some not so smart things cause I ran out and married husband #2 and again I had another sweet baby. My addition was definitely men cause not but a couple of months later I was living with soon to be husband #3, who I am still currently married to, and added 2 more children to the family.  I do love my husband Blake, I just think that being a powerful person as I am I have a hard time being married because when I feel that another person wants any control over me I flip out. I love to be free. I am like an animal that can never be caged and for whatever that is worth to me I just need my space to just be. 

I suppose this is a lot of ranting of who Darlene is or what I am about I hope this brings you up to date with me. I love who I am I am totally in love with myself and because of this I want to share me I love my children as soul partners and love them to be who they are. I love my partner Blake who I hope one day we are like silly soul mates and lovers connecting. I love my goddess women friends who are like my mothers and sisters that I feel see me for who I am and love being apart of inspiring me and letting me talk talk talk. I love my family for bringing me into this world, although we are more like strangers I hope they are happy and well. I love being a LV LIFE LEARNER. I love being an eternal being and love living this life of contrast, I get to do it all again again again . . . . !

I invite anyone to come play with me and my crazy fun self read into my world of thoughts and belief, you may be in for a ride. I hope only to inspire or challenge you to think out side the box!

When you change the way you look at things the things you look at CHANGE!!!
Wayne Dyer

Love you all,