Time for me to get out of my own way!

I am creative so much so that at times I lose interest in one thing and pick up another. I do still want to do the restaurant and part of me is just waiting the other is wondering what I should do, I need $50,000 to start it. I presented my first living foods class in 4 years and I had a blast. 

Ideas I want to do:

1. I want to present inspiring demos with the intention to inspire people, children to get more and more fresh uncooked fruits, green and veggies in their lives.

2. Write children's books (I have 2 out of 3 done, waiting on pictures from young artists). 

3. Write a living foods book, simple, quick, fun recipes along with tips. 

4. Own a fun live food cafe with dancing, music, etc. 

5. Have a fun live food/green living show on the TV

6. Travel around the world inspiring others to eat more live fresh foods. 

7. Teach children (young adults) about thework.com so they may help themselves solve problems.

My friend did a tarot card reading on me Sat. night. The reading was the same as usual, I am not in the reading: my children and spouse are and my world is them and not with me. We did it 2 times and both times came up almost the same cards. We named it "stale mate" since I am waiting "tick tock". What you may ask am I waiting for, my children to grow up, my husband to go into business for himself. Yes, I get an idea in my head and I stop and say "I am a mother for now and when they grow up I will do xyz"! 

Next my friend pulled out these wonderful beautiful cards and laid them out on the table, I picked one "the creator". WOW it was my card it was a great one. One of the most powerful cards in the deck. It is exactly how I see myself, amazing powerful creator, world inspiring being! And it added "I need to get out of my own way!" YES I could not agree more. 

As I was heading home and everyday since I am making a decision and putting it down for the first time.

It is my turn to live my life. Living my life is living my integrity and showing my children how to be true to themselves. I will replace Blake's income and he will be the stay at home dad. Danyell and Marc are out of the house Bree is in school and busy all the time and Blake is the fun dad (I wish my dad was like him), Mitch and Carter want their dad more and more. Breast feeding is done and Mitch asks to be with his dad more and more. I think this is natural for boys who have a cool dad like Blake. Not that I am not cool I am just social and I love to get out and share me with others and be with others. I know this and now is the time. 

To be honest with myself at this moment I do feel a bit scared, new territory after 20 years of constant raising and having of the children. I think having children is safe for me my know how because it is most of what I have been doing since 16 years old. I am having to step out onto the ledge and jump. I know once I do I will feel like a chick out of its shell, ready to go peeking around. 

I remember leaving my parents home at 14 yrs. I felt less fear then. I know I have felt restless for almost a year now. I know my inner being is asking to be more of me and less in the business of my children who I have so longed lived through. I love them and they came through me for their experience and I came for mine they are apart of my experiences not all of them. I have attached myself to their worlds and become co-dependant on them and their world. I am loving and appreciating this moment right now, I feel sick and excited all at the same time. 

How will I start:

Today I set up my new business blog www.fruitygreenfamily.com and applied to be an affiliate for Vita-Mix on my site. Called Whole Foods to do live food demos. Called friend to do a live food demo at her home and record it to send to food networks.

Thursday I will finish my third children's book. 

Next Tuesday I will start my raw food book and complete by end of Nov. 2008

I feel better about myself and less fear just writing about it and I will do thework.com to keep myself in motion. 

Thanks for your reading of my rantings!