Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Where have I been?

So I have been not blogging lately and not taking fun photos of our wonderful dayz. So what have I been doing???

*Crocheting- I want to make more and more and I might even want to sell some. I think this may be a not so cool thing to do anymore. I like the sense of self accomplishment I feel finishing my crocheting projects. Pic on the way soon, I promise.

*Zelda- Bree, Mitch, Carter, and I have been Zelda Twilight Princess playing. This is one game I can really get into or sucked into or funned into.  . . . In order to get the next process we simply look it up on and there you have it the next step to the next step or process and on we go. Did I ever say how much I love the invention of the internet!!

*Being empty. I love being a mom and I love being an unschooling stay at home mom. I would love to be one of those moms that never needs a day away (afternoon) alone. Did I mention my husband is gone 90% of the time. I am pretty much a single mom and free spirit. These two sides of me clash at times and all I love to take care of myself with an afternoon with me, myself and I. I use to feel guilty for wanting time with me and up until Carter (my baby) was 4.5 years I rarely went to the store alone. I enjoy my children and the great thing is when I have taken care of me no one seems to fight and we are having fun most of the time. When I choose put off my time with me and run on empty I feel like I start to resent people (Blake and Kids) and yell A LOT. So the way I look at myself is I love feeling full of myself so I can share and do it lovingly and with lots of energy. No guilt here just love love love and knowledge cuz I know I can be a full time mom and spending time with me.

*Becoming debt free and working. Last month I gave up my last control in my family- the bills and check book. After 9.5 years together, Blake took over the bill paying and check book process his goal- debt free! I am currently choosing new patterns to think by when it comes to money. I want to spend and do today for NOW is what we have. At the same time I want to owe no one. I want to pay of things with cash only and so what to think???? Any suggestions will be considered. Anyways I thought that Blake would like to be in the driver seat of this bill/c book process since he is the one that brings in the dough. I love the way he just took over and I am seeing more of the empowered happy Blake since this whole process over a month ago. Now for the debt that I racked up I thought I would take a job for a friend working one 9 hour day a week for $50. I have done it 2 times and I so over it. Not that I dont love being with my friend I just feel that I am #1 worth more then $5.5 hour #2 have to constantly tell my children to leave me alone "I'm working" (I hate this part the most) #3 I am starting to feel sick about going to work because I promised myself 8 years ago when I quite my last job that I was worth more and the only work I would do would be for myself and after my children where raised. So I will just figure out other ways to help cut costs cause I dont think that a mom working is fair to my family. I love and want to support Blake in becoming debt free so I will find a way to do something I love, with my children in their happiness and all will be well.

*Looking at 5th Wheel Trailers and making plans. We will be living out of a trailer or RV in Feb 2008 yea a dream come true. I will up date as things go on.

*Started a 90 day work out system to get a total muscular body. OOOCH it is very painful right now but I feel those endorphins working!

That plus breathing, living in a nut shell!


Caroline said...

You are soooo busy. Are you sure that there is only one of you? lol

Miranda said...

Glad you are posting again. I missed you last week.

Annette said...

I too, used to feel guilty about needing "me" time. It's really hard to get it at the moment, but it is essential to the harmony within myself and the family.

Thanks for your update, it's good to know what you've been up to.