Friday, November 16, 2007

My Decisions

To let you know I have not written in a long time and I have wanted to why? I was feeling "restless" in my life and NOW as the days pass I am talking charge of many of those "restless" issues and one by one they are solved!!

So here is an up date for those who would like to know and assist and myself to see for me. 

1. Road Trip/RV Living:
We will still be living in the RV that in not in my possession YET and not until the end of Feb instead of the beginning. We have a friend who gets vehicles at auctions and he will not be back from Australia until the middle to end of Feb. We will be saving about $10,000 or more and so we are patient. Meanwhile we will be living in Las Vegas where ???? Probably one of those week to week rentals or who knows what will fall into my universe or brain come close to Feb.. We will NOT be living in the rental house we are currently in. 

2. My son and his girl friend:
In the past I have struggled with this issue because I have never been in these waters. 
For those reading this let me update you:
In March we found out that our soon to be 16 year old and his soon to be 18 year old girlfriend were pregnant. 
In April we moved his girlfriend into our house to help them out. 
In May she had a miscarriage. 
In June they went and got a dog without the ok of the rest of the family.
From April to August neither my 16 year old son, Marc or his 18 girl friend, Salina had a job or was going to school. They spent their days playing games and coloring and watching TV.
I was practicing the art of allowing them to come to some motivation on their own to start providing for themselves. I was buying their food ($400 a month) and providing all that they needed (feminine Hygiene, including dog food). They were not picking up dog poop (that is without constant reminders)or helping out around the house.
I figured that they knew that we were going to start traveling in Feb 2008 and that they might want to start earning a living and preparing to move on with the world of adulthood since this is what they said they wanted.
I was wrong. Funny thing about formally telling your children what to do, eventually many of them expect you to. 
So at the beginning of September I sat down with them and layed out our family plans of going on the road and invited Marc to join us because he is my son and he is still 16 years old. And I informed them that if they were going to get their own place they would need employment and a deposit. 
By the end of Sept they had employment.
Beginning of Oct Salina and I got into an argument because I was having a kid party and there was poop all over the lawn from the dog and she was not going to pick it up because "she does not pick up dog poop". So I said then the dog can not live here and so she and the dog left. There was more to the story but that is the just of it. 
They moved in with Marc's dad for about 2 and 1/2 weeks (and it was very peaceful around our house).
Marc came back one day and cried about how unhappy he was and that things would be different if he could move back. So we of course welcomed him back along with Salina and dog (reluctantly I might add and we love Marc and want for him what he chooses). 
She was layed off from her job and so for the past month has not really looked much. 
I have also be taking Marc to and from work at 6:50am and picking him up at 3:30pm.
I have been very tired I like being a night owl and I like my body waking me up when I feel rested.
For whatever reason I feel a bit afraid to talk to Marc, he is very powerful young person and gets very upset outwardly and openly. I know this is my stuff and I had to face that it was not going to happen like this anymore and I know that he is an strong, able, capable person to take care of his needs since he does want to be an adult.
Last night I wrote a lease contract out that included dog poop fees if I had to pick it up (I was NOT going to remind any more, I felt like a nag). If the rent is not paid on time (what Salina, Marc and I had agreed to $300 for rent with $250 going to their deposit on an apartment since we are moving out in Feb and $50 to us) Salina and Bella had to move out. Basically I felt I had to tell them what to do (which by the way is so hard for me). I guess I reasoned it by the fact that they will be signing a lease soon that does lay it out there and they will have to follow those guide lines or else they will be out. I did also include what my responsibility would be. A give and take. And I could no longer drive him to work in the morning or pick him up (since his dad is offering or the bus runs very close to his job and our house).
I do and did feel very good over this contract and very good after I left their room (even though Salina was not happy about the fact that she will have to move out if the rent is not paid on time since they have had 45 days to pay it) and I did ask them that if they had anything to add or a problem with something then we could discuss it and solve it. 
Needless to say they signed the agreement and NOW at least it is in writing and everyone knows where their place is. We are the parents leasing the space to them paying all the $1400 in rent plus utilities of $400 a month and they are the family tenants leasing the space for $50 a month (I feel this is a great deal). 

I want to see all of my children as powerful being in total control of the creation of the reality. I love them and I love myself and I know that co-creating is just that CO. 
I feel that by the way I feel that I did the right thing for our family and what works for us. And if it does not we can just be flexible and change.

3. Holidays:
I love my and my children's birthday and those are the holiday's I love to celebrate.
I don't like it that people have created holidays and I am told I have to give. I love to Give I just feel that I love to give when I choose to give and with Christmas I feel that I am being told to give. So I have made a decision for me, I will only be participating in the love of holidays and unless I feel inspired to give or make something for someone I will NOT. I am inspiring my children to see that the joy of giving to others can happen 365 days a year.
I have explained to all of my family that giving will be done by choice and that each of us have that choice. I personally will be creating lots of fun and giving on their birth days because I am so happy they came into my life I know them and I love to celebrate them coming into this time space reality with me. And when I find something that they have asked for beyond their monthly spending money I may be inspired to get it for them (especially when the universe provides for a bargain price or extra prosperity has flowed our way). 

4. Voting:
In college I decided I would not ever vote because I was not impressed by the voting process in our free country. So until I felt like their was a president worth voting for or any politician for that matter I would not be voting. 
Now if Hilary (man without penis) Clinton gets voted I am going to live in Costa Rica or Mexico and I will do my best to not be a US citizen.
Now I will vote for Ron Paul if he is a candidate (even though I know how the whole electoral process works). Yes I will break my non voting record of almost 20 years and I will register and drive myself over to vote at a ballet. Anyone who really knows me knows that this is big for me. I truly believe that your biggest vote come from how you live your life. 

I live:
I do not own a mortgage, I do not work for another person nor will I ever, I Unschool my children, I do not pay taxes on anything beside non food items (I love to order online and then I even beat those), I do not eat meat, dairy or soy, I buy organic, I shop at 2nd hand stores, I will so have an electric car and I will be biking when my children are old enough for me to not have a car, I will be buying solar and wind for my RV and have so wanted that forever, If I ever have a house it will be mortgage free and off the grid totally, I will eventually barter my way through life and live off "sunshine, water and fresh fruits that the earth will provide for me and I will be so rich I will give away to other randomly and without judgement."
So this is my stuff.

5. My vision of my career and global awareness.
I believe in law of attraction and so I am confused why others like Al Gore want to put a movie out there full of fear factors. I love Green and believe in it because it is common sense. 
So I have an idea for a cable show possibly on HGTV. I could travel (with my children and partner) around the world to interview people using green solutions. I feel that most of the US population does not really understand solar, wind and other processes of green or how to get it or think that it is too expensive. I could interview alternative energy experts in an informative way to give the public more understanding in a positive way without the fear. The show would be fun and crazy cause I am and I could even add a non cooked veggie food recipe made by a friend of mine using little to no energy and organic. I think this would be perfect for me I love to travel, I love to talk, I love green alternatives, I love to inspire, I desire for my husband to be with us and to stop his line of work he does not like and my children love being with dad and mom. 

Any person out there that is reading this if you know of any producers or how to do this beyond my putting the thought out there, I would love your opinion. 

6. Family Past, Present, Future:
I am going to my mom's to spend some time (how much I am not sure) I will be leaving the family I have made with my goddess sisters and their families and entering a world I no longer know and I will be appreciating the contrast and knowing that I love the family I was born into and they know the being I was in the past. I appreciate the family I have created now and they know the being I have expanded into. In my opinion I am going to a place that they and I see the past because we are not around each other to have an image of the present because I live here and they live there. It seems rather crazy if I think about it like that. Oh well I have decided that this will be the last time for a while that I will be seeing them and I have changed my former negative perspective of the situation to see that there is beauty in the past and the present and even the anticipation of the road I am paving for the future. Because my being is still apart of the past I can choose to be involved in it once in awhile. Yet I feel less of the past of me becomes less important as the years pass, therefore I do not choose to visit the past too often. I love to be in the present and if I do not I have the power to change it. I am where I am and right now I am loving myself and feel myself expanding even through this blog!

Thanks for reading
Have a Joyous day!


OrganicSister said...

You're going to vote!!!! Yay!!!!!

Miranda said...

She Blogs! She Votes! Who is this lady? Love ya, past, present and future!

Annette said...

I hear you about the Christmas thing!

Lots of love and hugs to you!